| On Aug 31, 2007, Tisha wrote |
Natitia Sigmon, nteeter@bellsouth.net, from
Stanfield, NC writes
Dear Claire,
I took the class in Charlotte this past weekend. I
wanted to thank you so much. You are a true
inspiration. I learned so much I felt my head
would explode sometimes, but I loved the class. I
have reread everything again and have come up with
a plan for my first mommy, already and have all
her massages scheduled. You have started me on a
great journey and for that I am so grateful.I pray
that some day I may gain at least some of the
wealth of knowledge you posess. Thank you so much
for your time and what you are doing for all the
mothers to be out there. Unfortunately, I am not
pregnant yet, but of course, we will have a great
time trying! But, we have been doing quite a bit
of research and talking and you will be glad to
hear, my husband and I have decided to have a home
waterbirth. He also said he wanted to be the one
to catch the baby. We can\'t think of a better way
to bring our child into our world. Say a little
prayer for us. Oh, and if it isn\'t on your
resource list... Homebirth NC has a lot of
information.Thank you so much for all you do and
starting this wonderful chapter of my life!
Lots of Love,
Tisha
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| On July 25, 2007, Claire Miller wrote |
Only the second time she had told her story in the last ten years amidst tears and a quivering voice. I was struck profoundly, so I asked her to compose it and send it to me to share with others, a story that would reveal the dark side of egg donation. I am writing this as a pregnancy and fertility massage specialist and teacher. My work has taught me to honor the pain and sadness that follows a couple, unable to conceive their own child.
When I questioned the selling of our daughter’s eggs, Adrienne was the one who spoke up. My own daughter, in need money for college, mentioned that they have ads on the college campuses for young women to receive $5000 for egg donation. In 1996, Adrienne answered such an ad.
Adrienne was struggling to create a better life than she had had during her difficult years in childhood and adolescence. By eighteen she was enrolled in college, and yearning for a more fulfilling life, including a successful income and career. When she saw the ad she thought that she would be able to give a wonderful couple a chance at parenthood, while simultaneously helping lower her college expenses. It seemed a win-win situation.
In a recent article in O magazine published in the June 2007 issue the knowledge of brokers who handle egg donation privately was presented. The slender, blonde, intelligent, college over achievers may get up to $50,000 to $100,000 for her eggs. I find this sickening and quite similar to Hitler’s aim to create a superior Aryan race. As a mother of two beautiful blonde, slender, intelligent daughters of Germanic descent, all too aware of their financial needs for college, it worries me that I am also a mother who could only afford to provide each of my three children a portion of their college tuition. When my daughter and I talked about the ad she saw, my gut reaction was “Do not sell my grandchildren,” I will help support you the best that I can, Adrienne was on her own, financially.
Adrienne lived in a populous mid-Atlantic area and had many fertility clinics available to her. Adrienne was placed with a couple who decided that she embodied the characteristics and features for the eggs they would use to conceive a child. It was a coincidence that Adrienne is primarily of Native American descent and is the only blonde in her predominately dark skinned family.
As the process began she had to take injections to hyper-stimulate her ovaries, in order to harvest 12-15 eggs at a time. Adrienne was never told that women are born with a predetermined number eggs in their body. She was also not told that this may compromise her health and her future fertility. She was too young to fully assess the full consequence of her decision. This business is run by preying on the young. The fertility clinic gave Adrienne synthetic ovary stimulating hormones to force her ovaries to expel an unnatural amount of eggs at once. A huge snowstorm shut down the east coast for nearly a week, in January 1996. She was homebound due to the severity of the storm and unable to get to the fertility clinic at the prescribed time for the extraction. The roads were deadly and impossible to pass; meanwhile the eggs were expanding in her tubes.
In this situation when trauma is presented, the body responds by secreting fluid. In Adrienne’s case, the fluid increased to such a level, she looked like she was indeed pregnant. Her abdominal cavity was expanding fast and her kidneys began to show signs of stress. The crisis mounted and a decision was made that emergency help was needed. When her mother arrived at the hospital, it was the first time she told her story. The Fertility clinic did not compensate her for the trouble she went through or reimburse her for the hospital bill; neither did the couple who had committed to taking her eggs. Adrienne was left, with the bill and a lifelong pain that she carries whenever she ovulates.
Ten years later, as a stronger and wiser woman, in a loving committed relationship Adrienne now wonders if she too, will have trouble conceiving.
The other side of this dilemma is that we have created test tube babies.
How do we maintain our history, our ancestors and our integrity while we treat childbirth as an experiment? Fertility clinics are a big business and with this they carry power. We must wonder if are taking too many chances, simply to free ourselves from financial burden, while simultaneously damaging our delicate eggs and the cheapening the creation of human life. Will this eventually lead to an inability to use the greatest gift god granted us, the ability to reproduce. In an overpopulated society, would it not be healthier to simply help others with their fertility disorders through adoption and other means, than to compromise our own bodies. Maybe this way we would finally realize just how precious the joy of life is.
Claire Marie Miller, Licensed and Certified Massage Therapist and Pregnancy Massage Instructor and creator of Nurturing the Mother; June 2007; clairmar@bellsouth.net www.nurturingthemother.com; 8703 Rollingwood Rd.; Chapel Hill, NC 27516
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| On Oct 03, 2006, Amy Sullivan wrote |
April 2006
I am not exactly sure what first drew me to NTM. I had an interest in supporting my pregnant friends, but was a little unsure about doing this because I wasn't planning on having children myself. Watching the videos of birth brought up so many emotions in me. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of birth, the strength of women and miracle it is. But there was a DEEP sadness in me as well - and I wasn't sure what it was.
I began my work with pregnant women and was filled with amazement. The next fall, I was asked to assist at the workshop. It was then I had a huge break-through. I was able to get in touch with things that needed healing around my mom and let them go. I immediately started having dreams about giving birth and being a mom. My husband was also having dreams - he wasn't aware I was. When we shared this we each other, we knew we were being called to have children. We soon became pregnant. Everything I did while pregnant and in giving birth was deeply influenced by Nurturing the Mother. I felt like I was living in a state of grace and total purpose. I knew my biggest calling was to parent.
I continued to assist with NTM and after my second child was old enough, I stepped into the teaching position. It has been a great blessing in my life. I have been given so many gifts from NTM - great healing, real purpose, beautiful children, massive spiritual growth through parenting, continued professional evolvement, amazing experiences in the rites of passage through birth and parenting..........
I offer to each of my clients the energy of these amazing gifts and to my students, who bless me with their spirits, I offer the opportunity to open to this work and share their talents and energy with moms and babies
June 2006
And so the journey continues……… One of the things we are asked to bring to the workshop is the story of our birth. As I began asking my mom, I was saddened by the fact that she didn’t remember anything from my birth. I am the tenth of ten and I suppose she just doesn’t remember them all. She has no recollection of mine, expect being very happy I am a girl. Over the years of teaching NTM and hearing students stories, and having my own babies, I am even more saddened and amazed that she doesn’t remember. I began feel resentful and angry with her. I realized more healing had to take place for us. She is sick and older and I didn’t, at this point in her life, want to say things to her that will upset her. Without talking directly about these things, I was confused about how to bring about the healing. I started sharing with her about my NTM work – and through this process, she learned more about me and I about her. It has been amazing to see her as more of a woman and less as a mom. I am more compassionate with her, less judgemental. A few weeks ago she wanted to know why people would pay money to come and hear me talk for three days. I started to tell her from start to finish about what we do over the three days. The first thing I told her was about sharing our birth stories and she asked, “What do you tell them?” I jokingly said “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the places you’ve had me!’ – as if I make it up. She said “It is really sad that you don’t know.” There was a moment of quiet as we both acknowledged this. I forgave her in that moment and now I can envision her happiness at the arrival of me, even if she doesn’t really remember.
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| On Oct 02, 2006, A.S. wrote |
Claire is a gift to the field of massage therapy and to women.
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| On Oct 02, 2006, Dianne Farley wrote |
Dear Claire, I wanted you to know what success I've had with your chart and techniques. I've also studied at other schools and I haven't found any chart so well matched and precise for placement - it's just right on! The other day I was working on a friend and when I got to her thyroid and parathyroid points, they alone were hard and knobby. I asked her if she had anything going on with her thyroid or parathyroid and she said, "Funny you should ask, I was just diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and put on medication." When I asked her, "What did they find?" she replied, "hard modules on the thyroid, they're small and the medicine is to keep them from getting larger." Interestingly enough, this is exactly what I felt in the fee - small, hard modules. Uncanny, isn't it! So it just continues to amaze me, this practice of reflexology. And I'm grateful to have studied with you and for your approach. I haven't encountered any one else or any other program or school that ties it all together and includes the structural alignment theory. It's as if most don't know the signifigance of our alignment and posture. How important they really are. It's as if it's a little known secret! Thanks again!
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| On Oct 01, 2006, D.W. wrote |
I found Claire to be an encyclopedia of knowledge. Her love of the profession shows through her instruction.
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| On Sept 09, 2006, Monique Watkins wrote |
To Whom It May Concern,
On August 12, 2006 at approximately 1:33 a.m. in the morning I began what will prove to be the most fulfilling journey in my life. On that day I became a mother.
Prior to that day I had been hospitalized for preeclampsia, which is pregnancy induced hypertension. Because of it I had been in the hospital on bed rest three weeks prior to being induced on August 11,2006. Since I was truly skeptical of the whole birthing process I had asked Monique Watkins to be on call for labor and delivery simply because I knew that at least with her in the labor and delivery room she would not be frantic and cause me to panic. However never in my wildest dreams did I think that she would provide the most valuable support of anyone possible. She was truly sent from God.
By the time Monique arrived I had already been in labor more than twelve hours because I was induced in the wee hours of the morning. Monique immediately came in inquired with the nurse about how far I had dilated and then the miracle began. She ensured me that she was going to help deliver this baby in no time. She began calmly talking to me about breathing techniques that I could use and she began touching areas in my foot and ankle explaining that by touching these areas in the manner that she was touching them she could cause me to have contractions thus causing me to dilate faster. I was all for it. She also massaged my back and gave me what felt like a full body massage and a touch of heaven. I later found out that she was coercing the baby into the birth canal with these reflexology techniques. She did this for what seem liked hours.
Because of the coaching and the techniques used I did not use an epidural. Within five hours of Monique being there I gave birth to my daughter Kennedy. She coached me through to the end. I had never heard of the techniques that she was using however I am a firm believer that they work and that Monique has a true gift in this area. Her spirit was enduring and never complacent. She was mindful of my health and the baby’s health throughout the entire process, thus making the delivery a success. The team of nurses and daughters were so impressed that they all wanted Monique to give them massages while telling them how she accomplished such a major feat. They definitely expected me to be in labor for a much longer period of time.
I am now a mother with a beautiful baby girl. I could not have imagined a better birthing experience and I definitely have Monique to thank for that. Her calling was fulfilled on that night and I am just blessed to be apart of the experience. Thanks to her my life will never be the same.
Thanks for allowing me to share my experience with you!
Elisha O’Neal
*Monique Watkins took Nurturing the Mother on Aug 4-6 2006.
She also supported a teen mom through a cesarean. She is changes lives through her work from Nurturing the Mother and all in a very short time from her training.
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| On Sept 01, 2006, Paris Henry wrote |
Dear Claire,
You have given special gifts to many this weekend—enlightenment, wisdom, understanding…but the greatest gift you have given is that of yourself. You give your essence and you don’t hold back.
When you are speaking to the group, you make eye contact like a good teacher, when I spoke, you listened like a good teacher but unlike the average teacher, when you looked at me, your eyes did not look through me or at me, they looked for me—the real me inside. They acknowledged that I am significant. They held me in high esteem.
What a gift for one person to give to another—to say without a word, “I see you. You matter.”
You made me realize how rare it is in the hustle and bustle of our lives for one person to really see another person. Even in our families.
God tells us to esteem and delight in each other. You embodied those words for me and I am grateful.
Yesterday in the blessingway, you said you love Divine Order and I realized, Divine Order comes when one is doing what they are supposed to be doing.
Because you are following your Path, you are making the way for Divine Order in your life and the lives of others. Because you are walking your Way, you are contributing into the lives of others.
Thank you Claire for the gift of you so that you help us to be a gift too.
With love, honor and blessing,
Paris Henry
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| On June 13, 2006, Lena Westre wrote |
I especially enjoyed the depth of the complete experience -- the physical, emotional, and spiritual. I feel that it is just as critical for a positive massage experience as learning the protocols and anatomy.
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| On June 13, 2006, Molly Dugan Sidor wrote |
Claire's passion is contagious! She brings universal Mother energy to her class, motivation, love and oneness within so that we can harness that energy and heal and nurture not only other women/mothers but the mother within us all. THANK YOU!!
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| On April 19, 2006, Kendra Adkisson wrote |
Claire,
This email is long overdue. I wanted to write and tell you how much
your class changed my life.
I took the course in October of 01, when I was still in massage school.
At that time, I was just
interested in pregnancy massage. However, at the course, you opened up
an entire new world to me.
Now, 5 years later, I am an LMT, specializing in pregnancy, a certified
labor doula and a midwife in trainning.
I have been to 62 births and delivered 5 babies. I have touched the
pregnant bellies of hundreds of women
in Lexington. In May of 2005, I delivered my daughter, Violet, in a
birthing pool on my back deck!! I didn't do a lotus birth,
but we did leave the cord attached for 3 hours or so.The catalyst for
all of this was your course.
It enriched my life and put me on my path...my calling to help
women have the birth expeirence that was inteneded to them. Now I'm with
a group working to seek the legalization of
midwifery in KY. How can I say it...you lit a fire under my ass!!!
Thank you so much for the wisdom you
handed down to me. Now it is my joy to pass it on to other women.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
My birth story and pictures are on line at www.baby-moon.org.
If you ever need a teacher for Lexington, KY. I would love to teach it
here.
LOVE,
Kendra
--
Kendra Adkisson
RooseveltMedia.com
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| On Nov 30, 2005, Lindsay McKinnon, NCMT wrote |
Well guess what?!?! I went off of birth control during the NTM in Atlanta last November. Tom and I began planning for our baby and getting ourselves healthy and wholesome, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I can not even express to you how much your course changed my life. In the past year since then, I have been networking with Doulas and Midwives and Childbirth Educators in the Roanoke, VA area, and absolutely love giving prenatal massage and teaching birthing couples infancy massage.
Tom and I are now expecting our first child on or around March 3, 2006! I Pisces water baby! I am currently in my 23rd week and feeling better than ever. We found out we are having a boy, have named him Patrick, and are planning a home birth with a wonderful midwife whom we adore! Before taking your course, I never really thought about birth much. I just thought that once you get pregnant, you have babies in the hospital, and that's that! I never even knew there were options! NTM turned me upside down and opened a world inside of me that I never knew existed. I love being pregnant and can't wait to meet this little one!
So - I wanted to share our excitement with you and say thank you for being such an inspiration and catalyst for me. My grandparents are still in Chapel Hill, and I do hope to get there for a visit sometime soon. I would love to get on your schedule for a massage as well!I'll let you know when I'm headed your direction!
Grace and Peace,
Lindsay McKinnon, NCMT
Nationally Certified Massage Therapist
Mountain Song Center for Life
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| On July 09, 2005, C.P.B. wrote |
My only child -- a daughter -- will turn ten in September, but I still remember the summer of my last trimester fondly, thanks to Clair. I was 40 years old and weighed 175 pounds in the August heat of North Carolina. The only two places I felt comfortable were in the swimming pool at the YMCA and on Clair's massage table. She kneaded my sore lower back, gently massaged my legs so the water that pooled in my swollen ankles might find its way back into my system and made my body feel like the temple of life she convinced me it was. She told me I was a goddess - a goddess! And I always came away from her feeling that I was. On one very memorable afternoon, she massaged my belly and told me she thought I was going to have a fine healthy baby -- about 8 pounds, she said. I had concentrated so long on having a healthy pregnancy that I hadn't really connected to the idea of the healthy baby who lived inside me. I began to think about the daughter I would come to know. Since my own mother--also named Claire -- was deceased, Clair was the experienced Mother to whom I could turn for nurturing,comfort and information. Thank you, Clair, ten years later. I think my mother sent you to me.
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| On May 11, 2005, Claire Marie Miller wrote |
The Mother who came before
I have received a gift. My parents, in their aging years have moved closer to me. We co-housed for 4 months before they moved to an apartment nearby.
I now give my mother massages as often as I am able.
A few days before Mother’s Day I gave my mother her mother’s day gift, a massage. She loves it. She relaxes deeply, breathes peacefully, and sinks into my hands. We are bonding.
My mother gave birth to me at a time when “bonding” was not a word associated with birth.
I am the last child of her four. I do not know my siblings birth stories. I have asked about mine. I guess that they are similar or even harder.
This was my mother’s story.
What I do know is that with my birth, it was a fast labor, she was given a saddle-block. My mother was drugged, put in stirrups, left alone for extended periods of time while in labor. My father was told to go home. no supportive person for her. The doctor, who I later met as a x-ray student, was cold, and arrogant. I hear he is still practicing in the same manner 45 years later.
I know and believe that she could have given birth to me “naturally.” I am blessed with her Irish birthing hips. We were separated. I was not nursed. She was never supported in the joys of nursing. I know what she missed.
I know that her journey into motherhood was difficult. I don’t know how she coped. She had a hysterectomy when I was three. I imagine that four children under the ages of 7, no nursing, little support, and probably bleeding excessively. These are hard times. She did not get to enjoy our childhood. She must have been very tired.
We did not get to bond. Not in the way I got to bond with my children. Now we get a gift to reconnect, to bond. I get to hold my mother, massage her much like I massage my children. We are touching. Touch is the mother of all senses. We are bonding.
I am changing the way mothers journey into motherhood. I am more then a massage therapist. I am a Crone, a teacher, a healer, one who knows because she did it. I know what my mother missed.
I do this work because I am healing my own wounds. I teach touch therapy, bonding deeply with your child, your partner, and now for me, my mother. It is through the touch alone, that we bond.
On this mothers day I honor my mother, my self as a mother, mother earth, mother of my mate, mothers who have gone before, mothers who are sisters, sisters who are mothers, the circle goes on.
It is in this moment when I massage my mother, we reverse the rolls, she receives like an infant. Much like the infant massage that I gave my own three children, The infant massage I never got. We heal, we bond, we connect in our oneness as a mother and as a child.
-May 8, 2005
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| On May 11, 2005, Tag Woods wrote |
Fetology - Science of the Unborn
By Tag Woods
Dearest Daughter,
October 4, 1957, is a date recorded in history books as the beginning of the space race between our country and the Soviet Union, with the launch of Sputnik 1, an elementary satellite containing a test radio beacon and a thermometer. In our family the date has far more significance because of YOUR beginning. And you came better equipped! Interestingly, Sputnik means “traveling companion” in the Russian language. You had been mine for more than nine months, arriving two weeks late – just as your brother had.
Despite long pregnancies, labor was relatively short… I recall intense lower back pain for a fairly brief period.
Still in my womb, you and I went grocery shopping on the afternoon of your birth. We were accompanied by your two-year-old sibling and your Nana – and joined by your father for a restaurant meal that evening. That is when labor began... I remember being given gas to slow down your arrival for prep work. Nonetheless, your dad was still answering questions in the admitting office when he received a call from the delivery room announcing your arrival.
The labor pain, all-day “morning sickness” and the discomfort of a long pregnancy were instantly forgotten the minute I saw you and was able to hold you in my arms. You actually seemed to recognize me, and I will always remember how bright-eyed and beautiful you were…
The prose above is part of my birth story – as written by my Mother. Teaching “Nurturing the Mother” (NTM), a Prenatal Massage Certification Workshop for Claire Miller Seminars, Inc., I value the importance of the work that begins by telling our own birth stories.
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The Baltimore NTM workshop last year was deeply profound. I want to share one student’s story (we’ll call her Helen, although not her real name) and how telling her birth story changed her view of herself and her family. Helen was a premature baby, and her mother had not held her until five weeks after her birth. At the workshop, Helen expressed that she did not feel comfortable hugging her mom the way her other siblings did. She then realized this was due to the lack of bonding in her very early life. It was not an issue of love, but an issue of bonding.
Helen’s realization facilitated a dialog with her mom, and helped to heal both of them. Helen later shared that she often felt she was not connected to what was going on around her. She felt she was an observer, outside the group. She could feel things, but was not connected to whatever group she was in. Someone commented that Helen seemed as if she was still in the incubator – insights that were right on target. The workshop was a powerful force for healing Helen’s trauma.
Here are some interesting psychological theories of birth issues:
• Caesarian babies may feel they always need to be helped out of situations or expect to be rescued. They may have difficulty overcoming obstacles or take the easy way out.
• Pitocin birth babies may feel “overwhelmed” or feel powerless.
• Breach birth babies often feel responsible for others’ pain and are extreme people-pleasers. They may be conflicted about moving forward or making changes and spend a lot of unnecessary energy “struggling.”
The birth process gives us a map by which to live. We are healing the future and the past with all of us. In my Mom’s account of my birth she wrote, “You actually seemed to recognize me.” I am sure Mom did not know how right she was!
Fetology is a branch of science focusing on the effects of the environment on the developing fetus. In my HypnoBirthing® Childbirth education classes, we watch a video, Knowing the Unborn. It delves into emotional bonding with the unborn to make better babies. The unborn child is a feeling, remembering, aware being. I am sure I did recognize my mother… her smell… her voice. I knew her before I was born.
Everything you think, feel and do while pregnant has a profound impact on your child both before and after birth. Parents cannot wait until their baby is born to realize the influence of their baby’s environment upon its development. Birth is NOT the beginning. Birth is the continuum of life.
In the book Prenatal Parenting, Dr. Frederick Wirth points out that:
• By the time the fetus has completed the 12th week of gestation, the total number of neurons he will have for the rest of his life have already formed.
• By 28 weeks, he has already developed all of his senses as well as those brain parts dedicated to emotional responses and memory.
• By 28 weeks, the unborn infant is developing concepts about himself and the world in which his mother lives.
Every year an increasing number of babies are born prematurely or with behavioral disorders. Learning how to think positively and communicate with your partner and/or medical staff can help prevent a pre-term baby and aid in the positive development of your unborn child’s personality. A baby’s in-utero experience builds the brain architecture that will determine behavior throughout life. Dr. Wirth has exercises to help you control stress, fear, guilt and anger – changing unwanted behaviors during pregnancy.
Boris Brott of the Hamilton, Ontario Symphony discovered he could play a certain piece of music sight unseen. While conducting a score for the first time he knew what was coming next before turning the page. He later found out that his mother, a violinist, had practiced that particular piece of music repeatedly during her pregnancy.
Most of society is unaware of the scientific advancements confirming the connecting of the mother with her baby during pregnancy. In HypnoBirthing classes, moms are given a button that says “PLEASE! Only happy birth stories…My baby is listening.”
How magnificent the opportunity we have, as individuals, to share this knowledge and information in a non-judgmental manner with love – nurturing and encouraging peaceful solutions for future generations.
Tag Woods is founder and president of Body Philosophy ~ Massage and Bodywork for Women. Tag graduated from Body Therapy Institute. She is a Licensed Massage and Bodywork Therapist in the State of North Carolina, certified by the National Certification Board of Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork, Certified Prenatal Massage Therapist, Certified HypnoBirthing® Practitioner, Certified Doula, Certified Newborn and Infant Massage Instructor. You may contact Tag at 336-992-6135 or tag.woods@juno.com.
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| On March 27, 2005, Janelle Marr wrote |
"Claire's massage to support conception made me and my reproductive system one. I became deeply intuitive with time to conceive"
Janelle conceived her son Jaden with her first ovulation post massage. She and her husband had been trying for 9 months.
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| On March 27, 2005, Tamara Bell wrote |
"I feel the class renewed my energy and changed my frame of mind about conceiving in such a positive way that my mind-body spirit was able to allow my baby spirit in. I do appreciate it!"
Tamara became pregnant two months after receiving the conception massage. This was after one year of trying.
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